Bucket List

There are many mad and wonderful things I plan on doing in my life. As I write this on August 2017, at the age of 25, I can’t help but feel as though my life is already on its way to ending. Sounds morbid? Oh I know, but I can’t help it. I like to think as a vegan with a healthy diet, I’ll live for at least another sixty years, fingers crossed. But having said that, is it really enough time to finish the bucket list? There’s just so much on there, I’m not sure if it’s enough time. Dare I say it, “you only live once!”

I will of course add to this as I go, and hopefully each and every time I accomplish one of the things on the list, I will inform you all with a special blog post. So, here goes.

Become a millionaire – I know, ambitious, but I for one have always wanted to do this, not because I think money solely brings happiness, but because I know it opens many doors, and I want to use my fortune to influence the world.

Go to University – I know there’s no age limit with uni, but I feel like I’ve missed out by not going. I have to go! As a writer, I want to study this craft perfectly so I can bring great content to you guys! Maybe I’ll get a masters, or a PHD, goodness who knows?

Punch a Fox Hunter – So I know I’m delving into a controversial area here. I love animals, I wouldn’t be a vegan otherwise, and with that, I am usually apposed to violence. But sometimes, when I see the bullies on horseback, my hands do truly curl.

Punch a Homophobe – I wouldn’t be doing the job properly if I didn’t stand up for everything I believed in. I have put up with a lot of discrimination in my life in regards to my sexuality, and again, sometimes, bullies understand only their own language.

Build my own Eco Mansion – As a self confessed Sims addict as a child, I vowed to one day build my own mansion. But as an eco-warrior, I always see the self-sufficient structure in mind, built upon an estate, filled with rescued animals and a wind turbine.

Rescue a doomed animal – I love the idea of donning a super hero costume and standing up for the little guy, in this case those destined for the abattoir. If I could steal the “property” from these apparently “legal” businesses, I may breathe easier.

Do time for something just – Knowing my luck, I’ll probably get caught, ha! Not that I think prison is a nice place in the slightest, but I’d love knowing I was inside for something like bringing down a slaughter house and freeing its prisoners.

Learn another language – Of course we all wish we could. I for one suck at languages, and yet I always feel a certain jealousy when it comes to bilinguals. I salute anyone able to put in the effort of communication, plus I’d love to live in Japan as easily as London.

Climb a Mountain – And I’m not talking the little hills with the tour groups, I’m talking about the big dangerous ones, the ones you need training for. The ones where my pathetic annual nose bleeds will receive a sharp reawakening. Hey Everest!

Sleep alone in a cabin in the woods – I’ve secretly always wanted to see if something would actually happen. I feel like as a writer, it would be the perfect inspiration for a horror scene, especially if I were alone, without Internet!! Shock horror!

Survive a desert island – So as a vegan, it’s my belief that if there are only animals on a desert island, then surely they must be eating something. I want to prove I can survive cohabitation with the indigenous, plus I’m dying to build a stick hut.

Do a world travel, the student way – As a less privileged young man, I never had the opportunity to just up and travel within a gap year, but there’s something about experiencing the world with a backpack that’s just so raw and tempting.

Do a world travel, the luxury way – But then again, once the gap year experience is over, I believe there’s nothing like being looked after. I’m desperate for an all inclusive champagne breakfast on the beaches of the Dominican Republic island.

Run 10k for a Charity – I adore rescue and service dogs, and one day, I’ll run my arse of for them. I’ll “feed two birds with one scone,” as us vegans say, by improving the lives’ of our best friends, and hopefully burning away those dreaded love handles.

Skydive – Just as it sounds, I’ll jump from something, and fall a ridiculous height. Why? Well why not, eh? It is a bucket list, plus I love a good view, and of course the opportunity to have someone strapping strapped to me! Ha!

Do the splits – I have always wanted to do this, and then when I saw Todrick Hall do the famous “#SplitsOnTrees” I was all over the idea of doing that very thing at the local park to impress so fitty dog walker.

Win PETA’s hottest vegan UK – I don’t class myself as model worthy in the slightest, but I would love to give this a shot at one time. You know, get some mates with cameras to nip over and snap me lying in the grass.

Volunteer for the homeless– I am totally guilty of pretending not to see homeless people. And the truth is, I’m scared they might take advantage of my kindness somehow. Of course we should not think like this, and I would really like to make it up to them some day.

Volunteer at an animal sanctuary – I wouldn’t be a true vegan if I didn’t give this a go. I would one day love to earn a passive income from blogging, pay off my debts, quit my day job and finally have the time to help those rescued factory animals.

Get out of debt – Being in debt has taught me much about the meaning of life. I do believe we can be materialistic and not let it rule our lives, but I only ever leant this after buying too much and pushing myself into a corner. Nobody should be slave to the numbers.

Buy a Tesla – But if I were going to buy something really cool, then it would have to be a Tesla. What Elon Musk has done for world is so amazing. He is the embodiment of Ethical Evolution, and as somebody who loves cars; I’d love that man to have my money!

Meet my idols – If I ever had the chance to meet J K Rowling, I would be a pretty happy person. I take much inspiration these sorts of people. They say you should never meet your idol, and I agree, but I would like to meet all of them, and I’m betting one will be perfect.

Have a tantric massage – I hear it’s something that should be on every gay man bucket list. Why? Because it’s one of the ultimate forms of sensual fantasy come true, and it’s not something everyone would be comfortable with, which is exactly why it’s on my list.

Self-publish a book – I’m so close I know I am! I wouldn’t be the writer I strive to be without having a book written just for me and those who want to read it. I love the idea of self-editing and cover design, and although it’s an outlet for me, it’s something I truly wish to share.

Stop biting nails – I wouldn’t be a true vegan unless I stopped eating myself! Ha! I’m telling you, I’ve tried everything from gross varnishes to hypnotherapy! Nothing’s bloody worked! But I will try because it’s on my list. Maybe there’s a magic potion in the centre of Earth.

Tell a customer to f*** off – If, like me, you have ever worked in retail or customer service, you will understand that the world contains some of the most putrescent poisonous repugnancies EVER! When I know I’m financially safe, I shall do the right thing, and say…

Get eyes laser – Admittedly, one of my biggest fears is being stranded while traveling, not having lost my wallet, but having lost my last pair of glasses or contacts. And for someone who’s skint, I can’t afford surgery right now. But one day, I shall hope to tick it from the list.

Host a Jay Gatsby party – After I saw Baz Lurhmann’s Great Gatsby, I knew I had to throw at least one of these magnificent 20s themed parties. Sorry, not themed, REAL! I’m talking acrobats, glitter cannons, coupe glasses, champagne fountains, as you do.

Kit out a London loft – Apart from the eco-mansion I plan on building in the English countryside one day, I do plan on setting up a safe house in the heart of London. The idea of taking a post-factory sewing floor and turning it into a dude-loft! Ah, dream!

Travel to each and every country – I have a fascination with maps. I love the idea of plotting a journey on them, and listing all the countries on each continent. Even if I do just one thing in each country, at least I would have been to each country. Bring it on, world.

Go Zorbing – And if I get tired of travelling the world and borrowing a piece of memorabilia everywhere I go, at least I’ll have zorbing down a hill in a giant bouncy bubble to entertain me. Funnily enough, I’ve yet to find another person to do it with. Why’s everyone so put off???

Ride a mechanical bull – So I have a confession, I secretly love the idea of pretending to be a red blooded American, swapping the elderflower gin and tonic for a Budweiser, clenching my thighs and giving it a go. And as it’s mechanical, it’s vegan friendly.

Do a colour run – It was such a magical surprise to know I could be pelted with multi-coloured powder when running for charity. Whatever colour you’ve got, bring it, I love the rainbow!

Buy everything in my Amazon wish list – So hopefully I might be able to do this once my debts are gone and forgotten about. Mostly Blu-rays and LPs, but I plan on kitting out my London Eco-loft once I buy that too.

Invest in the stock market – So as passive income goes, I plan on making it happen faster by investing. Embarrassingly I know nothing about it, mind. But that’s why it’s on the bucket list. Risky yes, but he who risks nothing, does nothing.

Have a Lego room – You’ve seen the Lego movie, right? Yes! So the scene with the Lego room, amazing. And I’m not ashamed to admit that as an Adult. And as an environmentalist, I will admit Lego is one of the very few plastics I believe are utterly joyous.

Be like Tyler Durden – As much as I would want to be, I don’t think I could ever be as anti-consumerism as Tyler Durden is in Fight Club. But the man’s got such a cool grasp on reality, though he’s fictional. Plus Brad Pitt is pretty pretty in this movie, and yes I want his body!

Be like Nathan Drake – Another fictional character I admire greatly is our Uncharted Nathan. What a dude. I love his sense of need to explore and break away from the monotony of society. Plus I’d love to have that upper body strength to parkour gorilla my way over ancient ruins.

Build a perfect green house – As part of my desire to build an Eco-Mansion, I do fear a good zombie apocalypse, and therefore wish to have a pretty damn good green house for my sustenance throughout the storm, that and screw pesticides!

Travel the world the vegan way – So as for my aspiration to travel to every continent of Earth, I plan also to visit as many vegan friendly establishments across the globe, and document each and every one of them for all the vegans of the world.

Travel the world the gay way – I do plan to travel much in my life, but as a gay man, I must admit I feel a little threatened from what one hears. I plan to be nothing more than a well-researched tourist, but at some time, I would love to be made welcome somewhere fully.

Transfer to LPs – The day I heard an LP for the first time changed the way I heard music. I know it sounds hipster ‘ish these days to do this, but I like to know the things I own are physical, and not just code written on some digital file. Plus LPs sound fabulous!

Write a fan fiction on a Roald Dahl story – It’s a tough thing for me to say this, writing fan fiction. I believe if you’re a good writer, you can write your own material, but just for fun, and to share with others, I one day wish to visit the life of the dreaded Miss Trunchbull. So many why’s and how’s of this enigmatic character. I must know more, even if it means writing it myself.

Kiss a statue on the lips – I’m not sure why, perhaps I’m in love with the art, the story, the character, and their timelessness. And also the photos look so romantic, like the past and the present melded together.